Meditation: A Vision of Life
मुश्किल से कभी कोई मिलता है जो सत्य का खोजी हो।
लोग संतवना खोज रहे हैं, लोग चाहते हैं किसी तरह राहत मिल जाए,
किसी भी तरह हो, थोड़ी देर के लिए ही सही, समस्याओं से छुटकारा मिल जाए।
मगर समस्याएँ अपनी जगह खड़ी रहेंगी,
ऐसी समस्याएँ छूट नहीं सकती। समस्याएँ तो मिलती हैं समाधि से।
उन्हें मिटाने का न कभी कोई उपाय था, न आज है, न आगे होगा।
Rarely does one meet a true seeker of truth. People are searching for solace, hoping for some relief, even if just for a short while, a momentary escape from their problems. But problems remain where they are, unmoved, unshaken. You cannot escape them. They dissolve only in meditation. There has never been a way to erase them, not in the past, not today, and never will be in the future.
-Osho
These words of Osho may sound radical at first. However, I now recognize that these words are out of a profound understanding and experience of life. Meditation – what is it? To sit alone in your home on a yoga mat, or is it something else? Maybe a part of it is sitting alone, but that is not all. Certainly, that is what I am not trying to discuss here. It is an understanding and an attitude towards life that has come from paying extreme attention to life events and experiences.
Whenever I talk to people and friends about meditation, one thing I can feel in them energetically, even beyond their emotions, is that ‘It does not make sense to them.’ There is always a doubt about it. When I look back at my life’s journey, if I ask myself why I am so dedicated to meditation or spirituality in general, the only answer I can give is – ‘It makes perfect sense.’ This is what I want to share a bit about, why it makes sense to me, and what makes it a way of life for me.
The best way to describe a meditative state is: When you are simply there as you are. Which does not make total sense, I get it because we are always there as we are. So it is not really possible to describe what is being meditative in life. But if I have to give a formal definition of it, it would be:- ‘Non-judgmental awareness is meditation.’ When there is an awareness of life experiences, yet there is no judgment of them, there is no inner conflict in us. It means if you are experiencing sadness, you are simply sad; if you are feeling joyful, you are simply joyful. But the funny part is, you can be non-judgmental about your judgments and conflicts as well. So, hence I said it is not describable. But the meditative state is very real. We have all experienced these moments of meditation in life. The moments you were awestruck, you still remember; you felt like something had happened, and you can’t describe it, you can’t repeat it, something that touched you.
I have realized that if you keep paying attention to life, meditation will slowly happen on its own. Rather than discussing meditation or spiritual practices, I will focus on awareness or attention and three important aspects of life: attachment—wounds, Mind, and love-harmony.
A Tale of Attachment and Desire
We have all heard the saying: “Attachment is suffering.” It is one of the most misunderstood statements.
We all chase something deeply. Knowledge, freedom, money, power, status, looks, sex, connection, love, God, or enlightenment. Every person has an inner chase or a deep desire to achieve something. Something that we think if we get it, it will make us feel fulfilled, whole, and worthy. We chase it because we feel unworthy, or not enough, or less of a person by not having that. And we all have said this to ourselves, ‘If only I had that, I would be enough, I would be worthy.’ This is what each of our attachments is; what we chase is what we are attached to.
I am in no way condemning this feeling of not being enough or unworthiness. I am not suggesting it is right or wrong. When spiritual seekers read words like attachment and unworthiness, they often connote them negatively. It is more about understanding what attachment and unworthiness truly mean.
Here is an example of a poor man and a rich man. I took money as the object of desire, the attachment, because it would be very easy to understand. You, as a reader, can choose your own object of desire, something that runs through your mind constantly, something you believe will make your life amazing or fulfilled if you get it. I am giving you a logic, an insight, and a paradigm using money as an example. You can apply it to anything you are seeking or desiring.
The Poor Man
A boy is born into a poor family. From childhood, he has witnessed his parents’ struggle to provide for the family to the best of their ability. Living in a society where money is the primary measure of value and respect, from childhood, he saw how his parents felt disrespected and treated as lesser individuals in society. That also affected him, living around parents who felt like they were inferior and unworthy people. He also started to believe he belonged to a class of unworthy people. Now, with this little wound, he grew up. He started going to school. Because his focus has always been on money, he now starts to see everywhere how other children have better clothes than him, new books, and better quality food, and how their parents drop them off in cars while he comes in on a bicycle. All of this reminded him of how poor he is again.
He started to hold a very rigid belief in himself that “I am less of a person because I am poor. I am not enough and unworthy. Life has been cruel to me and has made me born into this poverty.” With this, he feels ashamed of being poor. Whenever he is around rich people, he feels inferior.
This is what attachment does: we attach our worth to something. Here is the money for the boy.
An excellent understanding can be drawn here. Attachment makes your mind focused on a particular thing. For this boy, it is money. For example, there might be another student in the school who walks to school. And he will pass right by that student on foot, but his eyes will stay fixed on another friend of his who is coming in a car. So immediately he draws the conclusion ‘I am such a less person because my parents don’t have a car.’ But he can’t even see that he has a bicycle, while some of his classmates are coming on foot.
We can all see this in our own lives, whatever we are attached to, and we don’t have, we are fixated on those things. Our eyes are always looking at people who have that, and we again tell ourselves, ‘I am such an unworthy, inferior person. Only I don’t have it, everyone has it.’
Back to the story. The boy has grown up now, and he is an adult. Now he has made it his life’s mission not to feel inferior or shameful because of his lack of money. Like any normal person would think, he has decided he will make as much money as possible. So he is not trying to earn money to lead a stable life, enjoy some food, vacation, or provide for his family; he is trying to never feel inferior, unworthy, and ashamed of himself again. He started his own business. At the age of 40, he became a millionaire. He felt very proud of himself.
One day, he was invited to a party, and he met two billionaires. Sharing dinner and drinks with them, he found out that they own private jets, yachts, and large villas in multiple cities around the world. He suddenly felt something, that shame and inferiority he had worked so hard to avoid. He was back to his childhood, feeling weak, powerless, not enough, and ashamed of who he was as a person. He went back home, feeling frustrated and angry. The moment he reached his home, he shouted at his children because they were watching TV instead of studying. The children went away, crying to their bedroom. He was grumpy, angry, and at night, he told his wife, I need to make more money, I need to become a billionaire. There is so much to have, so much to do. We don’t even have a big house in another city. How little I have? I need to expand my business.’ His wife told him, ‘We have enough, we have a good house, we go on vacations, we don’t need to have more. We can simply enjoy this life, take care of our children, and spend more time with each other. ‘ He got angry and said, ‘Why don’t you understand, I am doing this for you, I am doing this for our children.’ So he kept running again for 20 years, and one day, he became a billionaire. Ten years later, he was on his deathbed. A friend of his, who is also a billionaire, came to visit him. They were talking when suddenly he realized that his friend had just bought a very expensive, one-of-a-kind superyacht, which both of them had always wanted to get. His friend left, and again he felt that feeling of inferiority within him, the sense of not having enough.
Is this a life really lived, a life really enjoyed? Not really, this is a life chasing, running, and trying to fill a mental wound. He assumed that if only he had enough money, he would never have to feel like less of a person. After one point in his life, it was not at all about their money, but it was totally about his feeling of worthiness, so his mental state.
Reading such a small story in two paragraphs, it might seem very naive and funny. We can clearly see what is going on in that boy’s life. But this is not only the story of the boy; it is the story of all of us in some other form and some other object of desire. We all have come home sometimes angry, shameful, frustrated, because somewhere out there someone or something touched our wound: the feeling of not being enough, not being ever worthy. And in that shame, we have all told ourselves, if only there were a way to get that, have that, life would be perfect.
The Rich Man
The rich man, from a poor man’s perspective, seems to have it all; he must be the most fulfilled person in the world. But he, too, suffers. A rich person does not suffer because he has money; he suffers because he is attached to his wealth. A rich person’s attachment to wealth makes him feel very, very proud of being rich. He walks around showing off his wealth, cars, and house. He feels very proud of himself, and he feels superior to others. Now this feeling of superiority is the attachment, because he thinks he is worthy because he is rich.
A rich person who is super attached to his wealth needs to feel superior because of his money. He has a compulsive need to be seen as a rich person. This is why he, without realizing it or unconsciously gathers people, friends, and family around him who will constantly remind him of his wealth and superiority. He will gather people who are poorer than he is, and he makes them feel inferior so that he feels superior. Because there is no other way to feel superior unless you make other people feel inferior. Others who feel inferior around him might show a mask of respect and admiration for him on the outside, but who can really respect another person who makes them feel inferior? They naturally start to hate him; they may not show it, but their action will show. Also, the rich person wants to get used to his money, because money is his thing, so if people use him for his money, he will feel worthy, happy, and superior. All this mostly happens without anyone realizing, unconsciously. Slowly, he realized, after years of such friendships and relationships, that all his close circle were trying to use him for his money. They hate him, actually!!! And this reminds him of his unworthiness – that is, he is nothing without his wealth, nothing without his belongings. Sometimes, such people in their moments of frustration might also think, “I wish I were a bit poor, a normal person, at least I would have people around me who are real friends and genuine connections around me.” He lives a life hating the world, thinking everyone is trying to use him for his money. He lives a life of isolation and does not trust others. In truth, what happened is that people were using him for his money because he was prioritizing money as his main source of identity, and he felt proud of having it. It’s not other people’s fault.
Again, I am not saying feeling proud of something is wrong or right. It is how many seekers’ mind starts thinking, so feeling proud is wrong, maybe. It is not wrong or right. In the above story, I am just stating an observation. Whatever you are proud of, people will use you for that, and people should use you for that. The only thing here is, are you aware of what you are proud of or not? If you are aware of it, then right or wrong is not a question. It is what it is.
Attachment is Suffering
The story of the rich and poor man signifies what real attachment is. This is why the famous line from Buddhism: “Attachment is suffering.”
There is an understanding that can happen from here that the poor can also have less attachment to wealth, and the rich can also have less attachment to wealth. For the poor person, it will look like he puts a lot of effort into earning money, and a point comes in his life when he sees that all of his basic needs are being fulfilled by his money, he feels safe, comfortable his chase of the money disappears. For the rich, it would be that he enjoys his money and helps people who need and lives his life without making others feel inferior. In this, not making others feel inferior, he finds people are so happy to receive help from him because now he is genuinely selfless. He finds genuine connections.
The funny thing is that our misunderstanding is very deep. We take such deep insight into life and twist it in our minds. We become even attached to this idea that ‘Attachment causes suffering, ’ which in turn creates more suffering. How? The rich might realize ‘Wow!! Money is all my problem; it is the cause of my suffering and attachment. Now he could immediately become a monk and leave behind his wealth. Money was never the problem; it was his mental attachment to money that was the problem. In the same way, the poor might think ‘there is nothing in the money, money is the problem and attachment’ and never truly pursue wealth and prosperity because they think attachment is wrong. And lead a poor life, struggling their whole life. The problem is always the mind’s attachment: the way it binds worth and identity to something outside.
Another way to look at it:
Once I read somewhere, “The greatest enjoyment is true detachment. Usually we think attachment is we love it, and detachment is we hate it. But that is not the detachment sages speaks of. Sages speak of a detachment that is non-dual in nature. You are not identified with it anymore, through love or hate. You are simply non-identified with it. Then you can enjoy, truly truly enjoy.”
Here’s a parable: I once met a man who shared a very interesting perspective about himself. He said he was never truly attached to his wealth, enjoying it without letting it take over his heart. During our chat, he told me about meeting a millionaire who was quite proud of his riches, showing them off as a sign of success. The millionaire asked if he wanted to be as rich as him, knowing the way to do it. He recounted how he spent last weekend with a friend—playing billiards for two hours, sharing some beers, and strolling around the city eating ice cream. All of this only cost him 20 dollars for six hours of fun. He said maybe one day they could spend 20 dollars together, if he had the time, and talk about how to achieve wealth. Sadly, the millionaire was too poor to spend that much.
Most people think spirituality is about less enjoyment, becoming a monk, suffering more, so that you achieve some enlightenment through hardship. However, that is not entirely true. True spirituality, for me, is the pinnacle of enjoyment, much like the man in the above story, who took great pleasure in his $ 20.
Awareness or Dristi: A capacity to see
In our Hindu culture, we have called our sages Drasta – the ones who can see reality as it is, more clearly. It is the opposite of Western philosophy. Philosophy is for everyone to understand. If you read enough books, go through enough training, you could excel in philosophy. This is not the way of sages. They are not some philosophers who are thinkers or scientists, or analysts who have tried to understand life. They are drasta: the ones who see the way they speak and describe life.
The best way to understand awareness or dirsti is through a small story. In a small village in the hills, there lived a blind man named Arjun. Every morning, he would walk the same dusty road to the market, with his stick tapping the ground. But this road has many deep potholes. He has stumbled on these potholes and fallen to the ground many times in the past. Every time, he would curse these potholes. One day, he asked his friend Raj about these potholes, and his friend could clearly see them. So Raj has given him a detailed set of instructions on how to walk, where the potholes are in the. Arjuna has memorized now, there are potholes near the banyan tree, 10 steps on the right, 50 steps ahead. So every day, Arjun would count his steps, and with his stick, he would navigate this road.
This is how we are living life in our blindness. In the past, we used to go to temples, religious books, philosophy books, and now we go to psychologists, therapists, self-help books, life coaches, and mentors to give us a direction on the path of life so that we can memorize it and walk every day blindly again, hoping everything will be alright. We remain blind, unaware.
One day, Arjun woke up and started walking toward the market. Last night there was heavy rain and storms, and new potholes are now carved in strange places. This time, Arjun fell many times and cursed himself in frustration, ‘Why does this road betray me every time?’
This is our day-to-day story. We have ideas, philosophy, and mental models on how to live life. Every day life is new, situations are new, and we keep on following our memorized way of life out of our blindness. And we fall again and again, again and again. We curse ourselves and life in frustration.
Now, a few years have passed, and Arjun finally had his eye surgery—an eye transplant. He was fortunate. Now he can see things clearly. He was so happy. Now, every day, he walks on the road, effortlessly avoiding potholes. He does not even think about it; he simply sees it when it is there.
This is what awareness is: a clear way of seeing things as they are. Going from blindness to awareness is the spiritual process. When we have eyes to see things clearly, feel things clearly, then there is no need for any philosophy, religion, or ideas about life.
The best way to understand our attachment is that it pollutes our attention, awareness, or dristi. We become blinded and can’t really see things clearly. For example, the poor boy who thought he was poor, riding a bicycle, kept looking at the children coming to school in cars, but was completely blinded to other children walking to school. His attention is attached to something; here it is wealth. We can notice this within ourselves, whenever we don’t have something and we are craving it, our eyes keep going towards people who have it. We look at others and think, ‘Only I am unfortunate, I am not enough 🙁.’ What a revolution that poor kid could have if only he would simply look at the children walking on foot to school and thanking God, being grateful to life; ‘OMG I have a bicycle.’ But again, my focus here is: I am not trying to give the kid advice –” Look at you, you still have a bicycle.” I am not trying to console him. This is not advice. My only point to the kid is that he can’t see it; he is blinded.
The revolution that meditation brings is clarity and an increase in awareness. The more we become aware in life and every moment, the more we see things. The more awareness increases, the more we look at every experience of life as they are, not as we want or do not want it to be. With increased awareness, we see how much we have, but we see how much we don’t have. When we see how much we have, it gives a sense of stability, relaxation, and when we see how much we don’t have, it gives a sense of journey. Both are needed in life.
We all have our attachments, desires, and inner chase. In many ways, it defines us. We all think, if only I had that, I would be totally fulfilled, I would be enough. It is because of our desires, we are constantly judging what is happening to us, whether it is right or wrong. So we judge life experiences constantly; if it is taking us close to our desires, it is right, if it is taking us away from our desires, it is wrong. To truly come to non-judgmental awareness is to come to a desireless state of mind.
The word ‘ total desireless state of mind’ might almost sound impossible and scary. But we don’t have to reach them immediately, like today or in one year. In fact, reaching there immediately will be no fun at all, I think. But even if your awareness becomes a little bit non-judgmental as years pass by, our desires and attachments loosen as life passes by, slowly you will see that life feels different, you feel a sense of freedom coming to you. The story and paradigm I gave is a framework for any honest seeker to look at their life. My personal experience has been that it takes years for our attachment to loosen, our desire to burn away. It is the intensity of the life experience, good, bad, frustration, happiness and all the sum total experience that gives this. So all we can do is intensely experience life. Life experiences are limited, but we can increase our intensity of experiencing them. The more we become aware of each moment, each experience, the more we feel them, put total attention to them, the more we make life intense. And out of the intensity of experience and awareness, meditation happens.
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