For the last few days, I have been swimming in a sea of synchronicity – a sort of resonance to life. Maybe I am just noticing it; it has always been there. The movie I chose, the choices I made, the food I wanted to have, and in the end, leaving me with this terrifying realization that who is that I? Do that I really exist? So here is the story of that ice cream shop I wandered into today.
There was a sadness today, an unannounced guest, you may say. The kind that simply lingers on its own. My mind gave it a reason, a picture to it, but I have learned not to take those stories in my head too seriously. I needed something sweet to set it aside, even if just for a moment. I was walking around the streets. I was walking there with multiple thoughts; I should go get chocolate from the supermarket, I should go to that ice cream shop that I like, no-I should not eat unhealthy food to cover my sadness, and so on. Mind chatters on its own, but as I was passing by a crossing, I saw the ice cream shop that I was thinking of, and something felt compellingly right, a strange pull. So I went.
I was silent, sad, in my own thoughts. And the person behind the counter was contrastingly happy. I could feel his joy, overflowing in energy. As I took my ice cream, he said multiple times, ‘Have a nice evening, have a nice evening,’ and I could not help but smile. Then, just as I was leaving, a little kid nearby was practically dancing with his wild energy, said to me, uninvited – “Bye-bye” a few times. So there was this moment of contrast of my sadness and their joy – unfiltered. A fleeting moment.
As I was walking back to my home, a realization washed over me. It is as if life is playing this exquisite song, and I was one instrument, sad, silent, low and these strangers bright, energetic, and cheerful. Sadness makes you very silent, receptive, and empty, and happiness makes you overflowing and giving. So there was a bridge for the energy to flow. My sadness gave real, truthful meaning to their happiness, and their happiness gave a contrasting comfort to my sadness. Perhaps that too was the point that I could have never sensed how happy they actually were in that moment, if I was not sad by myself, and they too could not feel my sadness if they were not happy in that moment.
But here is the deeper truth I felt: I don’t need to feel anything other than what I feel. They don’t need to feel anything other than what they feel. We are two different instruments, tuned to different tones, yet life is playing us both: together, in harmony, without apology.
Why was I sad? Why were they happy? It seems irrelevant. So much must have happened in the past; in their life, in my life, for us to cross to that exact moment, as if three different currents of life were flowing to meet just for a moment, and departing.
We want to know why because we want to control the flow of life. But maybe the we in each of our minds is a falsehood, an assumption. And maybe something vast, organic, and alive that I would like to call life is playing everything and everyone all at once, each moment in a symphony, and in a synchronicity. We just need to hear it, see it, and let it happen.
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