The Wandering
Looking back at life, most of it feels like aimlessly roaming around, searching for something. Maybe it has been the answer to “Who am I, and What is my identity ?” In search of this, I have wandered a lot with a childlike curiosity and deep awareness of life. As a young man, I was a staunch believer in science, mathematics and physics. Sometimes I would wake up in the middle of the night and watch videos on scientific theories. Slowly science stopped making total sense. So I went looking for answers in spirituality and philosophy. A new world of ideas and perspectives opened up for me, and like a child I just devoured everything. It was also not enough, so I delved deeply into my mind, personality and emotions. This wandering is very fun and has given me a lot. Over the years I have gained a lot of knowledge exploring engineering, science, philosophy, spirituality, yoga, cooking, playing table tennis, and public speaking and understanding of thoughts, energy, and emotions.
When I think of my childhood, it feels like pure innocence. Somewhere I lost that innocent mind. Somewhere I became too judgmental, labelling everything and everyone. Life became something broken to be fixed. People including myself became personality types. I gave myself so many labels, introvert, socially anxious, sensitive emotional person, overthinker, intelligent, dreamer and many more. The more I intellectualised everything, the more I felt divided, scattered and lost. And every time I would get overwhelmed I would go sit with myself and close my eyes, trying to make sense of all these. Even as a kid, I would run away to my corners to sit alone and meditate. And one day, I found myself in a space beyond emotions, logic and thoughts. It felt like home. Finally, something made total sense, and everything made some sense. Over the years that home has been growing on me slowly in meditation.
This is an invitation to seek that space of unconditionality within, a feeling of freedom, integrity and home.
Possibilities
Sometimes life becomes challenging. It puts you in a tragic place and you feel powerless, scared and hopeless. You can’t help but ask “Is this how I am supposed to live or is it truly possible to have a different life experience?” I want to tell you that it is definitely possible to have a completely different experience. But for this, a strong decision has to be made that, “Yes I want something new.” That is the day you will realise a part of you has to die for something new to be born.
This is an invitation to that process of death, and of re-birth and to new possibilities.
Sacred Duality
I have been a keen observer of life. Seeing two sides of most things comes so easily to me. And when someone starts to see good in bad things, and bad in good things, it makes them very indecisive. I have been indecisive, yet it has given me a chance to be truly integrated. I see duality in reality. Like happiness-sadness, man-women, goal-journey, dance-dancer, observer-observed, song-singer, heaven-hell, aloneness-loneliness, aloneness-togetherness, life-death, Yin-Yang, there are infinity pairs, entangled with each other. At times two sides of the duality feel opposite, yet one would cease to exist without the other. There is no song without a singer. There is no beauty without a witness. There is no lover without the beloved. There is no joy in finding yourself without completely getting lost. There is no joy in earning money if you have never seen poverty. There is no excitement in being together if you have never been truly alone. There is no smile that is beautiful if the eyes have not seen tears. Often the relationship between pairs seems to be filled with contradictions and paradoxes, yet it is perfectly imperfect. I have been learning to see it as a sacred love affair. It is only in love, that you start to see the good-bad and all dualities of life with the same reverence, and compassion. This is the love that grows the space of meditation and unconditionality within ourselves.
This is an invitation to this love affair of duality within each of us and in the outside world.
Invitation is a lovely word. Invitation means the other is completely free to do what they want with it. It has space for both openness and radical suggestions. All my writings are an invitation and through it, I will show you, how everything in life can be a meditation, a dedication to love and higher consciousness.
– Sachin